"I Would Never..."

“I would never…” I’ve learned to be very careful of these words...

 Someone wrote them in an e-mail to me because she was angry at something she thought I had done.  I was surprise, hurt and offended.  How could she say “I would never…” if she didn’t even know all the information?  It was then that I realized that although I don’t think I’ve ever said them to someone else, I definitely have thought those words before. There are usually followed with anger….the type of anger that isn’t helpful. It’s anger that is related to indignation and self-righteousness, both of which relate to judgments.  I just recently was angry about something and realized later it started with a “I would never…” thought.  I try to catch myself when I say it (but obviously am not always successful) and tell my self I can never know what the other person thoughts, what they are going through, or all their life experience  that lead to their decisions they make in their life. This can help decrease my anger and relate to them in a more open way.  Ahhh, but if I can only remember to do that!  How about you? Do you ever catch yourself saying “I would never…”? Or have you ever heard someone say it to you?

Maureen Umehara

www.wcswans.com

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