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April 25 2007 Café Notes

  • Parent Category: What's New
  • Published on Tuesday, 24 April 2007 20:00
  • Written by Michelle Gonzalez
  • Hits: 1157
Click 'Read More' to read the cafe notes from our April 25, 2007 cafe led by Michelle Girasole

Seeds to bring forward…Transcription of Summary Posters

5 Major Seeds to bring forward:

How do you listen to yourself and others more fully?

  • Only take advice from those who have what you want
  • Know what you’re asking for... not be rigid and in what you want to hear. This person has a perspective…What can I learn from it?”
  • You have to know what you want, look to where information is coming from and understanding it, seek a variety of role models to see what you want.

How do I pay attention to myself and my work? (Michelle’s challenge)

  • If I don’t feel good, no one will fee good around us.
  • We need to truly make the commitment to ourselves, need to recognize our role as “role models” for the future
  • In essence, pay ourselves first in order to pay others, the need to ask other women to support me in this commitment. They mimic our behavior…good and bad.

How do you align you work with your purpose?

  • Identifying your passion without judging it, don’t worry if it’s possible or not, don’t let it feel insurmountable, say it our loud… let someone know you’re going after it.
  • Do you have one purpose or multiple purposes, allowing the purpose to change, grow, broaden.

How do you discover your purpose?

  • The idea of “purpose” is a heavy weight with a lot of expectations, but we need to define it so that it’s not someone else’s purpose, purpose happens.

Choices: Those I most need to make next

  • Realizing I have choices
  • 2 aspects of choice:
    Feeling inspired
    Discipline in making it happen
  • Need to recognize the context of the choice, also the realization one is part of a system and thus has an impact
  • Sometimes you can live with the question vs. arriving at the choice – patience is needed in sitting with the question
  • There’s a need of a support network to back you in choices.
  • There are options

Transcription from the Café Tablecloths:

These are the direct notes and writings from the women at each table, discussing the topic and strategies they use to lead in their own way.

Question for you the reader:

  • what would you add?
  • What have you learned?
  • What can you take as your own for leading in your own way?

1. How do you listen to yourself and others more fully?

  • Listening – passive?
    What’s the difference between active and passive listening??
  • Listening skills – sounds funny
  • Only take advice from people who have what you want – role model
  • Listen and talk balance
  • Who’s advise do you take? – external – internal
    1. internal listening – what do I want?
    2. external listening – who has a road map.

2. How do I pay attention to myself and my work? (Michelle’s challenge)

  • Volunteer like a woman who has boundaries
  • Time for yourself is not negotiable
  • Block at the time, living in the moment, paying attention to the journey not just the destination
  • Just be yourself in all the roles
  • Giving yourself permission to not do something and not feel guilty about it
  • Take your own advice you give to everyone else about taking care of themselves
  • Make a list of things you want to do
  • Make your friends accountable
  • Letting go of perfection
  • Work identity, mom identity, bridge the 2 identity. Building other relationships with a women beyond work and being a mom

3. How do you align your work with purpose?

  • A core talent
  • Purpose in growth
  • Belief system
  • Money vs. talent
  • Broader than we define it?
  • Ones purpose? Role of natural talent, lack of attraction
  • Figuring out what your purpose is. Metamorphosis
  • Don’t wait for someday – start with small steps
  • Making the choice/decision to do it, saying it aloud

4. How do you discover your purpose?

  • Unknown purpose
  • Attitude + vs. –
  • In the now
  • Confidence
  • What comes first, purpose or position?
  • Discovering your purpose – fear toward opportunity
  • Reduce self deprecation
  • Purpose without a label
  • External
  • Limits on accomplishments based on preconceived expectations
  • Challenges
  • Identity associated with having a purpose
  • Shows good judgment
  • Pressure, decide now, leader or “Wing” man - work – children
  • Internal
  • Direction, How? Great expectations, Heavy weight, accomplishments
  • Necessity to define pressure – highest and best position

5. Choices: Those I most need to make next, Realizing I have choices

  • We’re part of a system
    How much can you ignore/deny
  • Fear
  • Day job needed - how much
  • Empowerment
    Driven by complications of life / quality of life /support network
    Time element effects decision
  • Inspired
    Disciplined – execution
  • Make a choice to take care of yourself “My time”, be a better role model for our daughters
  • Don’t need to justify the need to take care of yourself
  • Someday… tomorrow?
  • Make a date with your bathtub
  • If I don’t feel good, no one is going to feel good
  • Don’t feel guilty
  • House work is still going to be there.

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